被伤害过的心，以何抚慰？

爱情这东西

爱情是什么？

其实，虽然我能说出一大番关于爱情的大道理，内心深处我并不理解爱情这东西

即使很多人认为我身边追求者众多，可天知道，我这19年来，从未动过心

好感是有，不过好感还没来得及发展成喜欢，往往因某些事而断了

喜欢一个人，成天只能想着一个人，奢望能一个人在一起，最后爱上那个人

我没经历过，自然不知其中的苦与甜

可是，双眼瞧了折磨人的婚姻悲剧，闻多了世间爱情悲歌

我对爱情这玩意儿，有了莫名恐惧

前阵子看了Titanic，我想我是能感觉到Jack和Rose对彼此的深情

那是一种轰轰烈烈不顾一切的爱情

每个人内心深处，希望一辈子里能经历一次的美丽

我，一个凡人，也有这样的期待

话虽如此，那也非我真正所要

我要的是，细水长流，平稳亦有深度的爱情

轰轰烈烈的爱情太美，人的期待太高，因此太脆弱经不起考验

我觉得选择的伴侣，必须是一个自己想与其携手一生，看尽人间万事的那个人

他的容颜就算经过岁月的流逝我也看不腻，

他的身材就算老了不比年轻时瘦劲好摸我仍旧一抱就倍觉安全幸福

他的优点我欣赏，他的缺点就算把我气急气死了也不因此而嫌弃离开他

就算吵架了闹别扭了被伤了心，

我与他， 都能因为舍不得对方，以不分手不散伙的执著而和解

能彼此容忍退让，谅解宽容，互相扶持，不离不弃

因为不舍得惹对方伤心难过，因此绝不一脚踏两条船

就算全世上，能比其好很多的人很多，亦觉得我身边的这位最好

当我这般爱他的同时，他也这般爱我

当我这般忠心于他时，他也这般待我

 

可这般的男人，现下已不好找

是我要求太多了么？

满心怅然

I'm back?

It's been some time since I last updated my blog.


My life as a college student was officially over since 15.6.2012 
And now I'm left with approximate 1 month to decide on my university.


College life had been heaven and hell. 
I could jump from one to the next in a matter of minutes, days or weeks.
The lecturers dotted on me...though regretfully, I can't say the same for my classmates.
A pity, but it seems eventually I'm only remembered by my classmates when my skills are needed.
My a year and a half life in college, was nothing but a mess of emotions.
Depression Remorse Despondence Self-reproachful Stress and STRESS 


My memory of my college life is bittersweet and it's fading
I can't recall many aspects of my life as a college student; It's all plain white.
However, I don't regret it in any ways.
I've grown up in this 18 months, and I'm grateful for it.


Though if college life is already this intricate, I wonder what of it when I get into the society?


*sighs*

Self-love?

I can say, that I love myself most above everything else on earth

Why?

Even the closest to you, no matter if it's your parents, BFFs, friends, acquaintances or strangers;

Sometimes it's reality;

Will hurt you in so many ways you can never foresee and expect

And that's why, I am afraid that if I don't love myself enough

I'D DIE BY MY OWN HANDS AND DOINGS

I'm tired and had my hands full just by looking after myself

SO, leave me if you expect to gain any means of protection by staying with me

I'M JUST GONNA LET YOU FALL

Love yourself

I do think that some females really just don't love themselves enough.

Okay correction: I do think some humans, regardless their gender, just don't love themselves enough.

Some people fear loneliness

Hey I'm not saying loneliness is good, but it's not that bad either.

It is not a weakness, and it is not a form of darkness which one should just sings about

Loneliness is something we ourselves could control

Now cut the bullshit about how it creeps in and make you cry

Coz that is freaking exactly my point

If you cry when you feel lonely, that would be because you simply don't love yourself enough

Present days I believe that anyone would be capable to enjoy loneliness if they're strong enough

And that strength comes from not courage, but the love you have for yourself

If you love yourself, accept your flaws and your strengths.

Accept that you have weaknesses and accept you for what you truly are

It is not a crime that you're horny, provided that you stand by the accepted moral conduct of the society. In other words, you don't go around raping women.

It is not a crime, that you cry everytime you feel frustrated, or sad, or angry or any other emotions, as long as you tend to stand back up again, feeling better and fresh and able to keep going. Tears, in these situation my dear, are a sign of strength.

If you love yourself enough, smile and say "I know" when someone rubs one of your flaws right into your face. Acceptance my dear, is a great thing. No human is ever perfect. It is our flaws which make each and every one of us unique and human. Is it also those who call themselves friends(including you yourself) who are responsible to accept the flaws of others. Accept the flaws you have and those which your friends around you have, find strength in this acceptance, then if you want to and if you can, change yourself for the better. If you accept your friends' flaws, but still got bullied psychologically by those whom you call friends, then the fault is not with you. Do not blame it entirely on yourself. You, who understand the flaws you have and had tried to do something about it, are far off better than the ignorant and the arrogant.

If you love yourself enough, accept the compliments people give you. Modesty is a beautiful thing, but don't overdo it, it gives the adverse effect. If you don't feel like you lived up to the compliment, then try your best to do live up to it. Not whine about it somewhere else. It would seem like you're showing off, just to let you know. You wouldn't know, sometimes, that you actually do earn the crown.

If you love yourself enough, do everything you could to live as happily as you could, even in the most dire of predicaments. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, I'm just saying that you should try to avoid regrets in the later days.

Love yourself, before you love others; Take good care of yourself, so you'll get the qualification of taking care of others. If you don't love yourself enough, I'm telling you, you'll find it hard to live contentedly. For one, you'll never be at peace with yourself.

And I am aware that some people would ask:" What happens when some greedy dude lives off hard-work pennies of the people ,under the great name of self-love?"

Well let me tell you this, whatever misdeeds you do, it'll eventually catch up with you. If you think you can run away from your sins, however small, even if it is not regarded as a sin by the common society, you're sorely wrong. Karma sees to that. So would one who truly loves oneself do misdeeds? Not when one doesn't have to, I can tell you that.

Love yourself people. It's not easy to come to love oneself sometimes. I can understand that. Coz I myself been through great struggles to understand this.

改变

老实说，很多东西我都未能捉牢

常常以为拥有了，可手一放开，却才发现原来什么都不曾留过

之前总认为中四中五，是我思维成长得最为快速的两年

不过现在呢，倒认为，似乎是上了College后，思维最多变动的一年

首先是看清自己，无论是缺点仰或弱点

然后是检讨，反省

最后是改变

“人是时时刻刻都在改变着；早上的你，下午的你，傍晚的你，晚上的你，都是不同的”

这一年，我忘了曾和自己许下的承诺

这一年，让我差点儿变回以前的静怡

这一年，过得实在让我感到万分丢脸

今年实在是最乱的一年

失去不知原来是放在心底的人

又差点儿被以为征服了的恶魔禽住

又差点儿让自己的执著害惨

不会了，我现在很明白了

佛门的学问实在比想象中的更有道理，洞悉人性

生死有命，我定无能为力

缘分早定，我亦无能为力

我不愿一而再，再而三地为难欺负自己了

我答应过自己，潇洒地活下去来着

而且，若说人生不过是过眼浮云，什么都带不走

那至少，我要带走我干净的心灵

别后悔所遇过的人，别怨所遇过的人

珍惜所拥有过的时间

就算最后结局如何，那曾经所有的回忆，以及所收得的温暖温柔

不管如何，定不会忘

忆起时，仍会莞尔地淡淡一笑

我非无情之人

我只不过学会放手，再怎么辛苦都要活得毫无遗憾

无论身边会否有人陪着，也要坚强地走下去，以智慧为盾

希望最后，我会是个每过一天，都能战胜昨天的自己之人

It's something I read from the comic which really did hit a mark

"By seeing how you are reflected in another's eyes,

you are able to discover your worth,

that in turn ties into how you establish your view of yourself.

A world where you only exist,

you never exist at all."

It honestly hit a nerve of mine

I wasn't able to see my reflection in another's eyes for quite some time

Which is why I always long to go home instead of being anywhere else

I at least get to see something in my parents' eyes

Being at the college, makes me feel lonely